Random Days (and mornings)

Waking up in the morning is one of the hardest parts of exchange. The split second between dreaming and waking up is full of incredible confusion; "where am I? what's going on?" Every morning I have to convince myself that the day is going to be okay and I will feel better later. So far, I've made it out of bed, to the kitchen, and eventually to school every day. On my way to the bus, I always look up to the sky and find the Orion and Big Dipper constellations; somehow they make the world seem like a smaller place, meaning that I am much closer to home than I feel. Usually, no matter how hard the morning may be, I do have an okay day :).

This past week has been full of many ups and downs. I burst into tears in class on Monday; it was super embarrassing because nothing much happened to trigger the tears (except for stress), but ended positively when I noticed how many of my "friends" were willing to comfort and support me. It was the first time I have ever felt truly accepted by my classmates. I was smiling and crying at the same time that day.

Tuesday morning I woke up with a terrible cold; unfortunately/fortunately I had already made plans with a friend from school. We met at "la alameda" (which seems to be the standard meeting point for teenagers here) and took the bus to "Puerto Banus." Even though I was feeling completely miserable Claudia and I had a good time window shopping. By the time I got home, I was running so late for my dance class that I had to run all the way there (about 1.5 miles) in order to get there on time. Still feeling incredibly sick, I attempted to follow the dances and was thrilled when the hour class was finally over -- I was in desperate need of sleep.

The next day I got up early (9 am, early for a non-school day) to go with my host dad to collect my residency card. We hadn't expected the line to be so short, so instead of meeting my friends as I had planned I sat at "la alameda" and read Time Between Us, an awesome book by my dad's friend, Tamara Ireland Stone. The beautiful park, with its tropical green trees and sparkling fountains made for a relaxing reading zone :). At one I met Cj at the bus station and we made our way to Puerto Banus (Cj wanted to see all the fancy cars and yachts). We took a boat back to Marbella, then Charissa and Vanessa caught up with us for ice cream.

Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday went by in a bit of a blur. Homework, sleeping, Facebook, TV, Pinterest... I spent four days as an incredibly lazy teenager.

Monday and Tuesday were just two normal days at school; today I got to leave school early to go to a Rotary meeting with Nina, Christine, and Charissa.

I'm realizing that my words are coming out slightly terse and uninteresting. I'm not exactly sure why, but I'm really exhausted at the moment. This whole thing is just absolutely exhausting sometimes. Mentally, physically, emotionally; it's like I'm on a crazy roller coaster ride. At some points I'm terrified, others thrilled, usually exhausted, occasionally sad, and, quite often, happy. There's this little thing called a language barrier that challenges me daily. My spanish is getting better, and I am finally conversing with other kids in my classes (!!) and can mostly keep up with my host parents at the dinner table. School is getting to be normal, although I am dreading the coming weeks without days off. So far I've only had one full week of school; next week I have thursday off but after that it's five day weeks (ugh).

Sorry for the kind of random collection of thoughts in this blog. I'm feeling a little odd this evening and not in a very eloquent mood (not a bad mood, just a tired one).

Love from Marbella,
Shona Bell